Star Wars Poker

Not sure what the impetus was... but here's an awesome post from Marneus:

Here's my take on a poker game played by Star Wars characters. (Warning, I got a little carried away and ended up going on and on and on...)

[First of all, an 'important' technical note: the game that is played a long time ago in a galaxy far far away is called sabaac. For our purposes the rules are identical to no limit Texas Hold Em!]

[Also, this is a non-Empire game, so the ever dangerous, ultra-savvy players Darth Vader and Grand Moff Tarkin were not invited to the Cantina at Mos Eisley for the event.]

The final table consists of:

Jabba the Hutt (1,678,000 credits)
Han Solo (1,367,000 credits)
Obi Wan Kenobi (984,000 credits)
Princess Leia (645,000 credits)
Chewbacca (436,000 credits)
Aunt Beru (424,000 credits)
Luke Skywalker (317,000 credits)

Timing note: this game takes place circa the time of the original Death Star, so Obi Wan is playing as a flesh-and-blood, not a glowing nimbus; Han and Jabba are at each other's throats because of the bounty Jabba has
placed on Han's head; and Luke is wussy, whiny, farm-boy-Luke, not cool, confident, Jedi-Luke.

* * * * * * * Shuffle up and deal * * * * * * * *

Hour 1:

Luke is making a bit of a run. He's had pocket aces twice and pocket kings once already. He knocks out Aunt Beru when he gets runner, runner to hit his flush on the river. The force is strong with the son of Skywalker.

The rest of the table is playing very tight with the low blinds to get a feel for their opponents.

Hour 2:

(Aunt Beru is generously hanging around at the Cantina to keep Luke refreshed with that weird blue milk...) Princess Leia knocks out Chewbacca when she's dealt pocket 7s. Chewy has A-2 suited and the rainbow flop comes A-7-2. Chewy bets his two-pairs, and Leia just calls. No help on the turn, it's a 4. Chewy bets it again and Leia calls, after some well-acted deliberation. When another 2 comes out on the river, Chewy moves all in. Leia quickly calls. Chewbacca can't believe he's gotten knocked out by the under-full. The roar is deafening! (In retrospect, it's fortunate for the other players that Leia is the one who knocked Chewy out. Anyone else might have gotten their arms pulled out of their sockets when he lost...)

Still not much movement from the top three players; they're really taking their time tonight. Luke has hit a run of bad cards. Maybe it's all that blue milk...

Hour 3:

In a stunning turn of events, Jabba the chip leader gets knocked out! It starts with Han taking a decent-sized pot off of him when Han's big slick King out-kicks Jabba's A-J in a hand were both paired their ace. Three hands later, Luke miraculously hits the steel-wheel on the river and doubles-up; Jabba's set of Kings don't hold up there! The very next hand, Jabba is on tilt in classic fashion. He brashly raises pre-flop with hisK-9 offsuit. Leia cautiously calls. When 9-6-2 flops, Jabba goes all in. Leia calls. When they both flip their cards, Jabba is stunned to find out that the princess has gotten promoted. She has a (nice) pair of Queens (in gold bikinis). Tough luck fat boy. This is foreshadowing of what's to come for you...

Hour 4:

The blinds are extremely steep now. The final 4 players are (in order of current chip count) Han, Leia, Obi Wan, and Luke.

Luke is getting eaten alive by the blinds at this point. He starts making risky plays to pick up blinds, and finally it catches up with him. He pushes all in pre-flop with K-Q offsuit and is called by Obi Wan. Obi's pocket rockets make short work of Luke when rags fall on the flop, turn, and river. Obi let's out a mean Kryat Dragon howl and scares away all of the tusken raiders in the audience.

Young Luke still has a thing or two to learn from old Obi Wan. He's good against remotes, but against the living, well, that's something else... Still, 4th place is enough credits to pay for his first couple of semesters at the academy, if he can convince Uncle Owen to let him go join Biggs and the others before this year's harvest...

Hour 4.5:

The blinds double. Han is still the chip leader. Leia and Obi Wan are still very much in the game though.

Leia takes a bit pot off of a distracted Han. He's definitely not playing his best sabaac right now. Leia moves into the chip lead, but alas, it's short-lived. Obi Wan slow-plays her and she bets right into his set of Jacks and now the three chip stacks are almost identical. It's become quite a hotly contested game!

General Kenobi finally knocks the princess out when he flops the Broadway straight at the same time Leia hits her two pairs. Sorry your worshipfulness. It's time to get that R2 unit back to the Yavin IV base - anyway...

Hour 5:

Obi Wan is the chip leader about 2 to 1 over Han. The money is laid out on the table for both players to see. The winner's share is over 7 million credits!

Obi Wan is making bold moves and taking blind after blind from Han, who can't seem to get cards. Finally Han sees it. Obi Wan has a tell. Why didn't he see it before? It's so obvious! Whenever Obi Wan is bluffing at a pot, he makes an almost-imperceptable wave with his right hand. He's trying to use mind tricks, that clever old goat! Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for having played thousands of hours of sabaac in the slums of Corellia!

Now you're in trouble old man!

With the knowledge of Obi's tell, Han quickly makes up the chip difference. Now it's anyone's game again.

Hour 5.5:

The blinds are now insanely high. Obi Wan calls, and Han checks his raise option. The flop comes K-10-2. Both players check. The turn is a 7. Obi Wan pushes all in. Han quickly calls. Obi flips over K-J, Han shows his 10-2. When the river is an Ace, the cantina manager comes over to make the final count-down of the chips. Han has Obi Wan chipped by a mere 2,500 credits!

Han Solo is the Tatooine Sabaac champion!

The hand 10-2 becomes known as the 'Han Solo' after he wins the tourney again the next year on the same hand!

Han and Chewbacca slip out before Jabba can collect from the winnings and leave them with just the white meat. The Falcon needs a major overhaul before their next Kessel run...