Reposting an article from the University Daily Kansan. Phillips: Missouri A to Z
By Michael Phillips
Friday, February 17, 2006
There are undoubtedly as many reasons to hate Missouri as there are adult video stores on I-70. However, nobody has taken the time to compile them into an easy-to-access reference work. Until now. This is the A-Z guide to why I hate Missouri.
Antlers: Mizzou student group that calls opposing players at all hours the week of games.
Burn: What William Quantrill did to the city of Lawrence when it wanted to abolish slavery.
Clemons, Ricky: Former Missouri player who received 24 credit hours in one summer.
Derrick Chievous: Mizzou player who wore a Band-Aid on his body during every game as a superstition.
Element of surprise: What was missing when Jayhawk Tony Sands rushed for 396 yards on 58 carries in 1991 against Missouri.
Fambrough, Don: KU coach who said there were two seasons: Every other game and the Missouri game.
Gary Pinkel: Decided that Brad Smith would work best as a pocket quarterback.
Houston State, Sam: See Games Missouri Should Have Won but Didn’t, unabridged coffee-table version.
Immature: Antlers’ signs celebrating the death of Nick Collison’s grandfather, a World War II veteran.
Jason Sutherland: When KU player Jarrod Hasse was playing Missouri with an injured wrist, Hasse said that Sutherland grabbed at his wrist throughout the game.
Kansas: The Jayhawks lead the all-time basketball series against Missouri 161-93.
Link, Gary: Missouri radio man was reportedly sent by athletic director Mike Alden to let former coach Quin Snyder know he would be fired at the end of the season.
Momma’s Boy: What the Antlers chanted at Iowa State’s Jeff Grayer, whose mother was dying of cancer.
Norm Stewart: Sit down, Norm.
Off with the head: Derek Grimm’s defensive strategy against Raef LaFrentz (see also Sutherland, Jason).
Paige Sports Arena: Renamed to the Mizzou Arena after a 20/20 investigation into Laurie Paige’s “schoolwork” while enrolled at USC.
Quin Snyder: According to The Kansas City Star, when asked how he kept up everyone’s spirits, replied, “[expletive], I’m down.”
Roads: Missouri’s poorly maintained roads are likely administered by MU grads.
Steve Stipanovich: Missouri player most famous for injuring himself when his gun discharged while he was cleaning it. Later named one of FOX Sports’ “top NBA busts.”
Tyus Edney: Went the length of the court to lead UCLA to a March Madness victory against Missouri’s “stand still” defense.
UNI (Northern Iowa): Defeated three-seed Mizzou as a 14-seed in the 1990 NCAA Tournament.
Very cold: KU football players after Missouri cut the electricity to their heaters during a November football game years ago in Columbia according to Fambrough.
Whiskey bottles: One of many projectiles used against the KU band and the reason it won’t travel to Columbia.
Xavier: Defeated Missouri in 1987 as the 13 seed for its first ever tournament victory.
Young, Steve: BYU’s star quarterback caught a pass from his running back to win the 1983 Holiday Bowl against the Tigers.
Zero: Number of Final Fours Missouri has been to.
12 comments:
Any state that's not Missouri is good enough for me!
Conundrum eh... didn't the Missouri Board of Regents reserve that word for the graduate program? Congrats on attaining such a high level of education.
You mean real words like "Paige?" And I always thought journalists were supposed to report the news in a truthful, unbiased way. At least that's what I learned when I graduated from the KU School of Journalims. Got one for you... Integrity: Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code Please, show me an example of this in the University of Missouri Athletic Department. Or anywhere else on campus for that matter. Time to bring back Norm. Alden and the Lauries should have never forced him out.
I'd so like to get involved and rip on MU. But really, I dont know if I can argue with someone that has such good taste in movies and tv (minus dirty dancing) But dude, you deleted 2 of your own posts. That's weak. Your retorts have been very strong but if you are putting that much thought into it, I gotta take away a few of your points.
Tech problems NRJB... and you're a liar. You so love Dirty Dancing. Know how I know... ?
So typical of a Tiger to be critical of others, while accomplishing nothing on their own. Perhaps you should consider actually creating a blog before becoming critical of another's. That Mizzwho "JOURNALISM" school sure does produce some mighty fine proofreaders! Too bad they can't teach their disciples a little something about having an original thought.
I dunno porqchop. I think you're on the slippery slope here. You're saying this tiger is being critical of others? Yet, what started all this? You posted an article from the Kansan where someone was critical of all things Missouri. Ding ding. Lets keep it clean kids and come out swingin'.
NRJB - Your overt ass kissing is making me nauseous. Why don't you just email Jess and ask her out? You don't need to turn tail on your alma matter just to impress her. I'm sure your rippling biceps and acerbic wit will turn her on based on their own merit.
Jess: Been fun bantering with you as well. I can speak for a majority of the Jayhawk nation when I tell you that we are all hoping for a return to glory for the Tigers. Basketball season was a heck of a lot more fun when the Border War was one of the premier matchups in the country, and stood for something more than what was happening on the court. Obvoiusly, we went through our own turmoil a couple of years back with Grandpa Roy's departure, but definitely feel like with got the upside of the deal with Self. Good luck on the hunt for a coach. Things will be better when they finally can Alden (the root of all evil).
NRJB: Thanks for sicking the dogs on me!
Ha! Yes, I've heard that story (the one about Bill Self being in one hotel room being interviewed at the same time Quin Snyder was being interview in another). Things could have definitely gone the other way for you guys (and then where would we be?). Remind me to tell you sometime about my first day at the company I work for about five years ago. The day Norm Stewart came walking down the hallway towards my boss' office and I realized the coincidence of her last name being Stewart and the plethora of MU contraband in her office was no fluke.
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