And So It Begins...

I'm currently wrapping up my first day of unemployment (though I'm not truly without a tether until tomorrow night at midnight), and it wasn't half bad. I didn't do anything too eventful, but I didn't find myself feeling apprehensive or miserable either. I can probably chalk that up in part to giving myself a two week break as part of the transition.

Some years back, when I found myself in a similar situation, I had a really hard time leaving work. I was fairly miserable until I locked-up a new gig about a month later. It was a different time. It was my first job, and at that point in my life, my job was pretty much the sole barometer for measuring fulfillment in my life. When I left that job, I felt like I was leaving my life behind. And like I'd failed. Obviously, things have changed on that front.

Leaving work on Wednesday was a rather unemotional experience. I wasn't sad or depressed, nor was I excited or relieved. Mostly, I was just tired of worrying and fretting about the whole situation, and in desperate need of a break. And after seeing what the past week's events had done to the tightly-knit team I had become a part of, I was happy to not have to relive those events ad nauseum over the next several months. It's gonna suck to be there for a while, but it will get better in time.

Today mostly felt like a day-off from work. I didn't try to fit too much into one day, obsess about the clock, or stage back-to-back activities. I did some light work around the house, played with the kids, attended a lunch for JoeSun's birthday, got a massage, then ran some errands on the way home. Pretty typical a fare for a day of PTO. (Confession: It was all I could do to not go play poker with KK at Harrahs.)

Tonight, my body is telling me "that was a nice day, but you've got to get up for work tomorrow," while my head is saying "chill out, regroup, but don't forget that you can't put it off for long." It's an interesting and foreign space to be in. The family routine around me will continue to rein me in, but the time between will likely be oddly malleable (a dangerous thing for me). I hope I make good decisions regarding how to best utilize this wonderful gift of time.

I appreciate everyone checking-in on me over the last couple of days. I'm sure the family and I will be all right. But will likely take many of you up on your offers of support and assistance over the coming months.

Looking forward to tomorrow, and all the new possibilities it will provide.